Recording (download at Internet Archive) (sorry about the poor audio quality):

About Kelley

Kelley is wife of 14 years to Dayton ToT veteran Courtney Brown, and mom of six going on seven. She grew up in South Carolina and today lives in Cincinnati.

Summary

Kelley describes dating as a heart condition:

  • What you are doing is preparing for your vocation
  • It cultivates the culture you’re going to have in your vocation
  • Look at your current condition: wounds, brokenness, etc.
  • If you ask God to show you the areas of your heart that need healing, he’ll start to.

Have physical and emotional boundaries.
Have an idea of what things are important to you.

Kelley goes on a date with her husband every week.

Passport to Purity – mother daughter retreat

  • If you are pursuing God first, even though it’s hard, your heart will stay strong
  • Even though it hurts, you know there’s a bigger picture involved
  • Think about the decisions you make now with the person you’re dating — if you don’t end up marrying them, how will it affect them in their/your future marriage?

Marriages is two imperfect people in a perfect union because Christ is at the center. You don’t have to wait for “I do” for Christ to be your center.

The purpose of dating is to get closer to God. Dating needs to be less serious and more fun.

Jason Evert – Every day we need to say yes to what God is calling you to do

  • If your relationship is not rooted in prayer, start praying on your own and together (or don’t start dating yet if you’re not)
  • Praying as a couple can be awkward, it takes time to develop

The more we can trust God with our heart, the more we can center on Him, and the more we can love the person we’re dating instead of using them to fill a need.

Quotes and Resources

Questions

  • How can you address loneliness without seeking affirmation from others?
    • If you feel lonely now, you need to find out where it’s coming from.
    • I was seeking affirmations from people all my life, but I wasn’t believing them.
    • If you struggle with loneliness:
      • Pray. Get uncomfortable in prayer.
      • Seek wise counsel.
      • If you ask, God will show you where it comes from.
    • I was afraid to admit I was lonely because I thought people would think I was stupid for feeling lonely with all these people around me.
  • Have you found that believing and experiencing that you are unconditionally loved just as you are has allowed you to face and work through and find healing for your brokenness and flaws?
    • Yes. God is constantly working on me.
    • Believing and experiencing that I am loved has come in stages.
    • Instead of looking at my past as a track record of failure, I now look at it as a track record of the Lord’s victory.
  • To clarify, getting to know yourself and finding God’s purpose for you through dating vs. getting to know yourself as well as possible to prepare for dating
    • In dating, you need to know who you are separate from the other person.
    • You need to know your strengths and weaknesses in the light of Christ
  • The hardest part about the beginning of marriage?
    • Courtney leaving his underwear on the bathroom floor (still does)
    • Trusting in the sacrament in the face of their parents’ wounds
  • Do you feel at a point when you were dating that you were going steady (exclusive)?
  • You mention the single life is temporary it is ends in marriage or religious life. Is it possible to share you fruit in church ministry while living a chaste single life?
    • God has created us to be in relationship with Him.
    • Both married and single have to practice chastity.